Tweens with ADHD and Hygiene

When your child was young, you probably felt like it was ok that you had to supervise their bathing, tooth brushing, and toileting.   After all, kids need to learn these skills, just like anything else.  And kids with ADHD take a little longer to pull together routines like these.  But now that they are 7, 8, 9 and older, its probably starting to wear on you.  And it may be causing social problems for them if they do things that leave an odor, for example.  What can you, as a parent, do to help?

First, a dose of empathy

Chances are, your child is not trying to gross you or anyone else out.  If you react in a way that shows your are disgusted, however, you may be giving your child a reason to continue the behavior you are trying to extinguish.  So, try to keep your response empathetic but firm.

Most of the time, the reason kids with ADHD don't do so well with hygiene routines is because they are multi-step, uninteresting tasks that require working memory, organization, and a certain degree of focus.  These are all things that are weak areas for most people with ADHD.

A second reason why hygiene routines are one of the last issues to clear up for kids with ADHD is that they often take place when medication has worn off or hasn't been taken yet.

Reminders

Posted reminders and checklists are things your child will be using for the rest of their lives to make up for their lack of working memory.  However, posted reminders usually only work for a short time.  Then they get ignored.  They have to be changed up occassionally and, more importantly, used with some other incentive.  

Many hygiene reminders have to be posted in the bathroom, or even in the shower.  Lamination is an easy way to protect your sign/checklist.  Lamination also allows your child to check things off the list with a dry erase marker or crayon/grease pencil (works better in the shower).

Timers are also a good way to build in an awareness of time.  There are some complicated ones out on the market, but if you want one for starters they sell for as little as $2 at discount retailers.

Rewards

Using a reward chart system will help your child, over time, to get into the habit of doing certain things every day.  It usually takes a neurotypical person at least a month to learn a new habit, so with your ADHD child, figure on at least 6 weeks or more.

Another type of reward is to allow your child to move on to play only when the task is complete.  In our house, this is also called, "Are you free to play yet?"  Our children know that before they are free to play at bedtime only when PJ's are on and teeth are brushed.

A third type of reward is to point out the positives of how your child looks and smells when they take care of their hygiene properly.   

Stepwise

Remember that many children with ADHD have difficulty with multi-step instructions.  So, break the tasks down for them.  "Get ready for bed" might turn into a checklist of "Put on your PJs, brush your teeth, go to the potty, and wash your face and hands."  

Organization

If your child has all of the things they need for getting ready in the morning all in one place, they are less likely to get side tracked looking for them.    A bathroom caddy might help, as well as laying out the next day's clothes the evening or afternoon before (or even having a week's worth preselected on Saturday or Sunday).

If all of these things fail, you probably want to take things back to the drawing board.  Your child may not be ready for the level of independence you are expecting.  Or you may not be noticing small improvements.  Sit down with your child and try to hammer out achievable goals and see if they have any suggestions for how the process could be improved to help them succeed.  Stay positive and encouraging and eventually you will succeed.

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