Getting Ready in the Morning and ADHD

Mornings can be really difficult for parents of kids with ADHD.  Mornings are hectic for most parents, but more so for parents of children with ADHD.  Even if your child is on medication, chances are it hasn't kicked in yet.  And so, you find your blood pressure rising every morning until your child is safely at school with all of their things.  Here are some tips that can make things easier.

1)  Prepare as much as you can in advance. Think school bag (packed with homework, gym shorts, afterschool stuff), lunch, and clothes (including outerwear and shoes), for starters.

2)  Have a morning routine.  Train your child into it and they will eventually go through automatically to the next thing even when you aren't there to remind them.  Short songs can also help with remembering the routine and limiting tasks such as hand washing, which can become sticking areas.

3)  Post signs or lists.  Signs (if there is one issue) or checklists (if there are many) can be helpful.  Many people use laminated lists that can either be checked off with dry erase marker, or by clipping a clothespin to the completed item.   

4)  Use a timer.  Timers are great because they take the pressure off the parent.  No longer is it that you are nagging, but it is a little machine that your child has to beat in a race.  Timers also help your child to gain a sense of how long it takes for them to complete certain tasks. 

5)  Make it fun.  Children often love to race you or a sibling to see who will be first to get ready. 

6)  Break it down.  You may have to break down difficult tasks into more manageable parts.  For example, getting dressed may need to be broken into removing clothes, then putting on underwear, then socks, then shirt, then pants.  When you are tempted to scream because your child has not gotten fully dressed, just smile and say, "Great, you have your clothes off.  Keep going!"

7)  Use rewards.  Sticker charts are a great way to positively reinforce behaviors you are working on.  The not only teach your child, but they also teach you to notice and praise appropriate behavior. 

8)  Be present.  Expect to be present during your child's preparations for a long time.  You cannot expect them to get ready by themselves without reminders and reminders will not catch their attention if they do not make eye contact.  Trust me, yelling from another room does little for your child and will make you hoarse. 

9)  Be patient.  If your child has ADHD, some of these things will take a long time to sink in.  Possibly years, if not months.   You may wonder how long it will take before you have to stop checking your child's feet for the right shoes, or his bag for homework.  It will not be forever, but it will be longer than you wish.  In these times, it is sometimes helpful to help your child laugh a little at himself, apologize and make things right if necessary, and move on. 

10)  If all else fails, consider a different medication.  Some ADHD medications function around the clock.  These include atomoxetine, Intuniv, and bupropion.  They each have their own disadvantages and there are good reasons why none of them are first choice medications for ADHD.  However, they are options.

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