If You Have ADHD, Is There Something Wrong With You?

I remember it very clearly.  We were at a small group Bible study and DD had a dose of allergy medication earlier in the day owing to a wheezing episode a few weeks prior.  DD was literally bouncing off the furniture, crawling under the table, and generally running wildly around the room.  One of the other moms turned to me and asked, "What's wrong with her?"

I suspect a lot of people with ADHD get variations of that question often enough.
From themselves:  "I can't seem to do what other people can do.  What's wrong with me?"
From their friends:  "What do you mean, I have ADHD?  Do you think there's something wrong with me?"
From teachers:  "She can't focus in class.  Could there be something wrong with her?"

I also suspect that the underlying thought to that question is either, "If there is something wrong with me, then I'm less than other people."  I'm less capable.  I'm less valuable.  I'm less important.   I'm less worthy of your respect.  Or, "If you can't keep your behavior appropriate, it's because you have made an immoral choice to do so out of poor character--laziness, stupidity, selfishness, etc."

Neither of those conclusions are correct when it comes to ADHD.

Whether a person has less value due to their imperfections or not really has to do with your world view.  If you truly believe a person is less valuable because of their weaknesses, then you will do well to hide your own.  However, most wise people know that all people have weaknesses and imperfections of one kind or another, and that greatness comes not from perfection so much as it does from how we face our weaknesses and how we overcome them.

There are certainly people with ADHD who have poor character.  However, not everyone who makes poor choices does so because they choose to do so with malice aforethought.  In fact, most of the poor choices a child with ADHD makes will probably fall into the category of "I just didn't think that out to it's conclusion."

So, is there something wrong with my daughter?  Yes, but it is not her moral fiber.  It's her brain.  And while it makes some things hard for her, we are choosing to let her live out her life as the human being full of potential that she is.  Yes, she knows she has ADHD, but she also is being equipped with medication and other coping mechanisms so that hopefully, as she grows, she'll fulfill that potential and continue to amaze us by being the human being she was created to be.