Prior to medication, my child with ADHD, was a living tornado. Wherever she went, she left a trail of toys, books, half-finished crafts, wrappers, clothes, and everything else in her wake. This was due to her habit of casting things to the side after she was done, and ADHD combined with giftedness resulted in a lot of things being done during the day, believe me! Many of you can relate, I am sure. The question is, how can we get a child who is easily distracted and not so motivated to do unpleasant tasks, to do something like clean up after themselves? For this question, I do not have any easy answers, but I do have some strategies you can try.
Routines
Having a clean up time every day is a great way to help young kids who mostly keep their mess in one place to learn that cleaning up after we play is just one of the things we do--and that there isn't really a choice. One way we make clean up time more fun is we let the child who is the first to pick something up and put it away choose some cleanup music.
Another routine that is a good one to follow is putting clothes or shoes away after they are used. We make throwing our dirty clothes in the hamper as part of our going to bed checklist. While it often still takes a reminder or two, having it on the list makes it less of a question in our child's mind.
Taking it Step by Step
Our ADHD child has a real difficulty seeing a mess for its parts. So when it comes time to "clean your room" she gets overwhelmed easily. It's often better to break the task up into parts--either to dictate what she should pick up one thing at a time, or to name a class of things. Another way to make things easier is to divide the room into zones, and tackle one zone at a time. Sometimes covering the other zones with a blanket is a good way to keep them from being a distraction.
At times, what I have done is ask my child or each of my kids to just pick up and put away 4 or 5 things before we start some new activity. This doesn't clean up the big messes, but hopefully it's a few less things we have to clean up later. And the good thing is that its just a few things, so the task is manageable, and so it's easy to motivate them to do it so we can move on and do something fun.
Another way to get willing participation in a partial clean up is to set a timer for 5 to 15 minutes (depending on your child's level of attention). What happens is that your child must clean for whatever the alotted time is, but when the timer goes off, even if the job isn't complete, they are done if they choose to be. This strategy makes the process of cleaning up less intimidating because your child knows it will be over pretty soon, no matter what.
A Place for Every Thing and Every Thing In It's Place
We aren't super organized around here. But we have a rule. If it doesn't have a place, make a place or toss it. We talk about having too much stuff and how it makes it hard to find things or take care of the things you really like. Have a place for everything in the house, and insist on it being put back when it's done being played with, even if it means interrupting what's currently going on.
A corollary to our rule is, don't have so much stuff. The more you have, the more you have to pick up. If you like books, the library is your friend. If you like toys, rotate them or participate in toy swaps. If you have crafts, finish them and photograph them, then only keep the best of the best.
Learn to Live With It
The tidiness of your home should not become more important than it really is. Yes, good habits are important. Yes, you want to be able to find things you want and not trip over and break irreplaceable objects. Yes, you want your home to be somewhat hygienic. But, realize that learning to clean up and keep things clean is going to be a process and a struggle. In the end, this is one of those times when you need to choose your battles wisely.
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