ADHD and Bedtime: Taming the Craziness

Call it what you will, but bedtime in our house used to be mayhem.  For a kid with ADHD, the bedtime routine can be difficult because it involves multiple steps done at the end of the day, when medications have worn off and brain cells are tired.  As a parent, you can feel like you are babying your child excessively by doing things for them, constantly nagging, or allowing important things to be left undone.  How can bedtime be tamed?

1)  Decide what truly must be done at bedtime.  Many things need to be done the night before to make the morning easier, but some of them can be done earlier in the evening or even in the afternoon, when your child is fresher.  These things include: making lunch, packing the backpack, and setting out tomorrow's clothes.  

This also means choosing your battles wisely.  While you may have just realized that your child's room is a mess, this may not be the time to get into a battle about cleaning it up.  Also, if conflict with a brother or sister is a problem, you may want to separate siblings who are getting ready for bed at the same time.

2)  Write down what needs to be done, step by step.  Breaking a task down and specifying exactly what is expected can make "Get ready for bed." a lot more comprehensible and doable for a child with ADHD.  If there is something you are chronically nagging your child about, it probably belongs as a separate item on the list.  For example, "Change your underwear."

Checklists can be great for this purpose.  The list allows your child to be reminded without feeling like it is you nagging.  Some people use a laminated list with a dry erase marker, but if your child is like mine, dry erase markers lose their caps in less than 3 seconds.  We use a clothespin to mark where she is in the routine.  You could also use a large paper clip, a balloon clip, or something similar.

3)  Use a timer.  If your child loses track of where they are in the routine, you can either gently remind them, or use a timer to remind them when their time is up.  Encouraging your child to play, "Beat the timer"  will help keep you from being the nagging enemy.

4)  Use rewards.  You can use a sticker chart, passes or another system for rewarding your child for getting through their routine in a timely way.  At minimum, enthusiastic praise is recommended in the early stages of learning to get to bed quickly.  Another technique for rewarding your child is allowing them to play or read quietly when they are done getting ready for bed.

For hints on getting your child to sleep, please see ADHD and Insomnia.

Everything ADHD Medical Disclaimer
Everything ADHD Privacy Policy