Many parents with children with ADHD dread parent teacher conferences, and yet, this is a great tool for helping your child do the best they can at school. Here are some tips for a successful parent teacher conference.
1) Stay focused on the goal of the conference: Your goal is to build the parent-teacher team so that the child can do their best in school. Although the child with ADHD may cause the teacher to present many problems during the conference, its important to realize that the teacher is not the enemy and to try whatever you can to face this as a team effort, not a war against each other.
Also, though some schools form an adversarial relationship with parents and make them fight for help for their child, typically the teacher is on the side of your child. So, even if you've had a hard time with other members of the educational team, try to keep an open mind for the teacher.
2) Be prepared: The teacher's time is limited, and while you may have a lot of stories to tell about your child, to get the most out of your meeting with the teacher, keep to the point.
-Review the material you already have from the teacher, so that you do not have to go over it again, such as:
grades, report cards, progress reports
emails or notes home
how your child says things are going at school
- Have a list of questions prepared, such as:
What will my child be expected to learn this year?
What kinds of tests or evaluations should we expect?
Is he turning in his homework on time?
What do you see as my child's strengths/weaknesses?
How are my child's social skills?
Which accommodations are you already using in the classroom?
What accommodations do you see are the most helpful in managing my son's ADHD?
-Make a list of other things that may need to be brought to the teacher's attention such as:
changes to your child's accommodations, if not already discussed
med changes
upcoming doctor's appointments
questionnaires for the doctor
family upheaval (death in the family, divorce, new baby, recent move, etc)
other needed evaluations (learning disabilities, gifted)
-Research accommodations and interventions such as:
accommodations and interventions specific to problem subjects
accommodations and interventions specific to problem behaviors (organization, losing things, meltdowns during homework, blurting in the classroom, etc.)
what works and doesn't work for your child at home
3) Ask for suggestions on how you can help. The suggestions will become the backbone of your action plan for helping your child do their best at school. It is smart to write these down. If the teacher seems like they have no suggestions for how to help your struggling child, ask for the special education team to come do an assessment (child study) for further accommodations. Doing this in writing will usually ensure that this occurs in a fairly timely fashion.
4) Voice your disagreement with a plan if you don't like it. The teacher may assume you agree if you don't disagree. If you can work out your differences openly, the result will likely be better for your child in the long run.
5) Watch your time. If your child is not doing well, you may not cover everything at this meeting. An important tip is to discuss your most important concerns first. You may need to write a list of what you want to cover in order of priority. Be considerate of your meeting time and schedule a followup visit to discuss outstanding issues if needed.
6) Make sure you know how to stay in communication. Ask your child's teacher what the best mode of communication is, and what time of day is convenient. If you have been having problems with getting a response, ask how long you should wait before following up to make sure the teacher got your message. Remember, a face to face meeting is the most private mode of communication, but written records of communication are needed if accommodations become a legal issue.
7) Thank the teacher for their time and for their special efforts for your child. As a parent, it is easy to lose sight of the extra effort it takes to teach a child with ADHD. Many teachers have more than one child with ADHD in the class. Not all teachers know what to do or want to try. So if you have one who does either, thank them.
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