Somehow you've managed to get to the store with your child with ADHD. That's nerve-wracking enough. But now comes the scary part. The parking lot. Kids with ADHD often dart into traffic or parking lots without thinking about potential dangers. You're not alone if your child has had a close call (or more than one close call) involving impulsive behavior in a parking lot! While many parents consider medication at the point when ADHD symptoms like darting into parking lots lead to dangerous situations, medications aren't right for every child in every situation , and many or most kids have to go out after their medications have worn off. That's where these tips come in handy.
Make sure your vehicle has child locks and that they are engaged. A child lock makes it so it is impossible for your child to open the locked car door from the inside. Someone has to be at the door to let them out (and hopefully to corral them if they try to elope). Most newer vehicles have these, so check your owner's manual if you don't know how to engage them.
Before you open the door, remind your child briefly of your expectations. Don't lecture, because your child has a hard time paying attention. Just remind them briefly, "Stay with me." or "Walking feet." A brief reminder as you step into the parking lot can also be effective, such as, "Hand or strap." (meaning "Hold my hand or purse strap.")
Offer a small incentive. "Whoever stays with mom all the way to the store (first one buckled in their carseat) gets to (choose the cart, have the first piece of donut, put a quarter in the charity bucket, etc.) " This is different from a bribe, which would be offered to stop the offending behavior. Also, it should be something immediately actionable so you won't forget.
Park strategically. Choosing a space near the sidewalk will help your child to be safer faster, and parking near the cart return means less time out of the cart en route to your car when you leave.
Don't be afraid to hold your child's hand or use some kind of leash or harness. Which is worse, judgy looks from strangers, or a child--your child--hit by a car? Granted, you probably won't want to put a child older than 3 or 4 in a full harness. However there are wrist straps that can be used with slightly older children. Also, you may consider getting a therapy dog trained walk harnessed to your child and to lay down if your child tries to bolt. This type of dog would typically be a heavier breed and generally would be specially trained for autism therapy.
Put your child in the cart. The car/truck carts are safer than the basket. Your child can be buckled in and can entertain themselves while you are pushing the cart. You will also develop stronger muscles pushing that heavy cart!
Have your keys ready before you walk into the parking lot. Fumbling with keys is precious time when that child may be wandering away from safety chasing a bird or a cool looking vehicle.
Tell your child what to do, not what not to do. For example, I often would ask my daughter to place both hands on the car while I was opening the doors. You could also expand this to have your child place both hands on the car and then count to twenty if you are slower for some reason, such as having to assist a younger child.
If after several months of behavioral interventions such as those above, your child still runs in the parking lot, you can lower your child's risk of having a serious accident by leaving them at home (under appropriate supervision) while you go out, or you may want to consider medication.
If you have any other tips on managing bolting in parking lots, please leave a comment below!
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